Manipulate!

// Sunday, July 22, 2007 1:16 AM

The idealist in me is dying.

I rmb how teachers always said that if you work hard enough, everything you want will come to you.

I rmb believing every word that they said. And now I see how untrue that is.

I guess the music world is indeed cruel. If you don;t have it, you wouldn't have it. Ever. You can sing till you go mute and you still can't get it.

Some don;t even have to try to get it.

Both ends of the divide.

And it seems ironic that no matter how much i sing it, i still wouldn;t get it. But for the sakes of everyone, I have to get it. And to get it, I will have to sing it, non stop.

I don;t wanna be the weakest link. I hate being it. I hate it when everyone has to rewrite my part just so that it will be easier for me.

I would rather they just tell me that I'm lousy and just kick me out.

But it;s too late for that now. It's too late for regrets, too late for sorrys. I'll just have to loop that god forsaken song in my head and sing and sing.

And learn the interval for g-d, g-d, g-d

And I have performance on Monday- more to curse and scream about.

It's just plain weird that I did all this just so that I wouldn't live a life of regrets and say, "hey, why didn't I try that?"

And now, I'm wondering why did I join that...

Some things are just not meant to be.

And I dunno why I have to keep challanging the higher ups about that.

It's okay god, I know you never gave me any miracles and you ain;t planning on giving me any now.

I'll make my own.

PS: I finished Harry Potter le. It's quite okay la. It really shd end at this book. STOP ASKING FOR IT TO BE REVIVED!